REVENGE!

Last night I walked into my familiar haunt, Rob's Billiards, and the first person I saw was William. He was sitting down eating some Pizza Hut, and had his light saber on the table, sheathed. I cautiously said hello, went to the bar to get some beer, and returned to the table for some polite conversation. We exchanged pleasantries, talked about the TV show 24, and discussed the blandness of his "Natural" Pizza Hut pie. Jerry soon walked in, and we merged over to the pool table for battle.


William and I played first, while I was still telling Jerry about the new (hed) P.E. album, and my friend / co-worker Ken thinking that the song Institutionalized was by GBH instead of Suicidal Tendencies. I wasn't really focused, but I did have a nice run to start the game, and soon I was on the 8 ball. I made a critical mistake, scratched, lost the first game, and surrendered control of the table. However, I was strangely calm, and unconcerned. I shook William's hand, and watched him destroy Jerry. Now it was time for revenge.


In the next 5 or 6 games against William, I did not lose. In fact, there were several games where he had 4 or 5 balls still left on the table after I sank the 8 ball. He was playing well, and a couple of the games ended with nothing left on the table other than the cue ball. I, on the other hand, was on fire. Banks, cuts, combos, it didn't matter, everything was dropping for me. After being handed 5 or 6 losses in a row, William decided that he had to get home to watch "House." Although, he did concede that I had the eye of the tiger, and I had raised my game since the other day. Revenge is mine, and I am back to being the Alpha male of the pool table!




BONUS STORY: So after the destruction of William, I routed Jerry 4 games to zero on the foosball table. Jerry and I went to the bar to sit and enjoy the rest of our pitcher. A woman walked into the bar asking people if they wanted to buy a rose to benefit a family who recently lost their home to a fire. Now I saw this same blonde, overly made-up, 50 something woman in the bar on Sunday, and she was telling the same story. I became suspicious, and decided that when she was on her way out, I had a couple of questions for her. So after she sold some roses to Trista, and a couple of other ladies in the bar, I asked her to come over. "Are you selling these roses for charity?" I asked. "Yes," she answered. "Do you have a tax write-off or tax deduction receipt for me if I purchase one of these roses?" "I sure don't, but I will bring some next time." What a liar, and what a horrible person. Why not just sell the roses? You don't have to add the story about a family who lost their home to a fire, and you don't need to lie about working for a charity. Watch for a future posting regarding liar rose lady, as the next time I see her, I will follow her around everywhere asking those same questions over and over until she leaves.

I Fucking Love The Game Of Pool

I fucking love the game of pool. There is no way around that. I love the competition, strategy, the power, the touch (which I use better than most, thank you Uncle Scott Pruner R.I.P.), and the victories. It is a game where no matter what your size or gender, you are able to either be bad-ass, or suck-ass. At Rob's Billiards, my only rivals are Trista, the female bartender who beats me as much as I beat her (she does work at the fucking place), Jerry (who has been my rival for at least 6 years), Ray (who is the baddest bank shot artist of all-time), Terrell (the 9 ball ninja), and Kyle (the KMFDM fan, and also a 9 ball ninja). Now there is a new arch-enemy by the name of William. Against most of the above, I am over .500. Seriously, before tonight my worst record is against Trista, and she and I go 50 / 50 every time we play. Tonight was a different story.

Jerry uses the bridge


I started off playing against Terrell, a buddy from the bar. He has been off of work for a couple of weeks, and away from the pool tables for the same amount of time, so when we played, he was rusty. I beat him at least 5-0. However, at about game 3, a man named William came up and sat down to eat his Subway combo meal. Now, I met William a few weeks ago, but I believe that we played pool against each other for the first time last night. You might remember that as the night where I took pictures of me throwing the Horns down, and a sweet young lady by the name of Theo joining me for the photo opps. Anyway, after all those drinks and the games of foosball against Jerry, I played against my new arch-rival, William. He beat me last night at least 4-0. I don't remember how close I was, but I would guess he crushed me. Tonight was a different story.

Ray uses the bridge

Kyle uses the bridge

I beat Terrell pretty badly, and he walked away saying that he did not want to play anymore. William asked if he could play the winner, and that was me. I won the first game against him, but barely. He won the next 3 games in a row, and they were all close. I am not trying to say that makes a difference, because a W is a fucking W. He won the custom stick he was playing with in a tournament up at Rob's, and it is a quality cue. I, on the other hand, am playing with a "house stick," or in other words, the stick he uses to break with. So his stick is too good to take the beating of breaking the balls up. That is not a compliment to the sticks up at Rob's, because back in the day, you used to be able to pick one off the wall and it was true. Now, shit is like a handicapped hooker. You are not sure if she is going to rob you of an honest good time, or treat you like the $40 big baller that you are. Anyway, I won a second game against William, and it felt like a relief. Why? Because Jerry, Terrell, and I were watching the game, and he was obviously so good that it took everything I had to even get that second victory. In the end, William came out on top 4 games to 2, and I have to say that he is probably the best player I have faced. He won another game though, so that left me saying "I give up," and wondering "what does this man do for a living?" After asking him that question a few minutes later, I learn that he is a Geometry and math teacher at some high school in the area. WTF?! I am just saying. I think that his knowledge of angles, banks, and English (cue ball action for those not in the know), give him a significant advantage. Anyway, he said that my game caused him to "stay sharp," and that almost pissed me off. He and I were very respectful though, so he walked off knowing that I would face him another time, and at the same place. I promised him that I was going to practice, train, stretch out, and work out so that the next time we played, it would not be so one-sided. I will defeat him soon, and you will see that shit on YouTube. Believe it.